Brad and Angelina Tie the Knot

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally tied the knot... or have they?

OK! Magazine and X-17 Online are both reporting that (ever-reliable) Star Magazine has claimed Brangelina were married today in New Orleans, Lousiana's French Quarter. Neither Barack Obama, nor Hillary Clinton were in attendance. However, Tasty Rumor is the first to share this extremely rare and unofficial wedding photo:


I'm a Doubting Debbie when it comes to this sort of news, especially since the media has cried wolf over this in its relentless speculation sooo many times in the past. Plus, why would People lie?

If it turns out to be true, though, we could have a lot more to chat about considering Brad Pitt's solemn oath to hold out until gay marriage is legalized. At the very thought, angry lesbian Mandi Hamlin is tearing out her nipple rings in protest.

Aliens, Rick Astley & Gossip Gurls

I'm experiencing modest pangs of guilt for neglecting my new blog. It's only been two weeks and I've already fallen off the bandwagon.

You deserve better, so help yourself to these tasty rumors from the past few days:

Photos of a UFO hovering over Capitola, California have been spread virally across the web by an anonymous source and are now piquing the interests of mass media.

The photos' authenticity is still in debate.

Now check this out. You win five million dollars from the Publishers Sweepstakes, and the same day that that Big Ed guy gives you the check, aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow up the world in two days — what do you do?

In unrelated news, Rick Astley says he's popular again. Who knew? The New York Times did... and now they're paying for it.

A blunder over the authenticity of a viral video called "College Basketball Game Gets Rick Roll'd" has the New York Times sucking lemons.

The real shame, however, lies in finding Rick Roll'd videos funny.

And did you hear the juicy gossip about Chace Crawford and JC Chasez?

Apparently, so did JC. He rejects and denounces being in a gay-man-on-manboy-leather-thong-role-playing-butt-sex relationship with Chase.

Scandalous! Now, why would we think that?

BIG FUN

I'm a huge "Heathers" fan. In fact, I'm practically Heather Number 4.

When Heather had Veronica forge a "hot and horny, but realistically low-key note" to Martha Dumptruck Dunstock from Kurt Kelly, which is then slipped onto her lunchtray, I thought it was very. I know it isn't nice to pick on the fat girl, but come on, Kurt's the high school quarterback... and I'm no Mother Teresa. Plus, there's always an up-side to every tasty rumor: Heather's cruel joke may have given Martha some "shower-nozzle-masturbation material for weeks."


You're probably passing judgement on me already, but for some reason you're still reading this post. Are you Heather Number 5? Number 12? Number 8462? Or maybe you're a Veronica. Whoever you are, you're still here and I'm grateful. Look forward to BIG FUN in the near future and scathing, irreverent, delectable dish!